rodlox (rodlox) wrote in lost_inausten,

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crossover: "The function of doors"

Title: The Function Of Doors

Crossover: Lost In Austen / Primeval
Author: Keenir

Summary: the real reason why an Egyptologist might find herself on the Primeval team.

Author’s note: I got as far as the 3rd paragraph, and I found myself wondering “would Lizzie grant Michael the use of the familiar form of her name?” (and I also wondered why Michael and Rhi didn’t seem surprised to see someone trying to open the door that was inside the bathroom)

Note: since I can never hear the proper pronounciation of Michael’s and Amanda’s friend’s name, I’m calling her Rhi.

WARNING: for all Americans, what herein is called a “water closet,” we call “a restroom” and a “loo” and a “bathroom.”


Michael was inconsolable, refusing to be cheered up by any of his mates, refusing to even get sloshed, hammered, drunk.

So he was here, looking at the various things from Ancient Egypt… Standing in front of one particular exhibit which was labeled simply A False Door. These false doors, the sign read, were where the living would place food and gifts to the deceased – the dead person would open the door and take the offerings. False doors were functional to the spirits, to the souls.

That’d go with what Elizabeth said, Michael thought to himself. The door to her place only opens if it’s desired with all your heart. Bit of an amusement and a slight shock to hear in the clarification that she meant the water closet. But it’d grown into a tradition of sorts – him, Elizabeth, and Rhi, all gathered in the water closet, each taking a turn trying to open the false door there. Never with any luck.

Not until Amanda had returned.

Amanda… With that Darcy in tow. It was enough to make a man actually read Pride and Prejudice…if for no other reason than to find a way to take Darcy down (not that Jane Austen would’ve mentioned a weakness to uppercuts).

Glancing quick around, Michael took a breath, and pushed against the false door, and blinked when the stone actually gave way – blinked but didn’t stop pushing the stone door open. When it was open enough that he figured he could squeeze through, Michael went for it.

…hoping that it really was desire that directed these things, and not when they were made.


Degrees from Seoul and London and New York didn’t help Dr. Jane Lee when she stepped into the hall of Ancient Egypt, seeing someone squeezing himself through a door that hadn’t been built to be openable. Dr. Lee, an expert on false doors and other pathways that the ancients of the Near and Middle East believed in, found herself silenced, if not flabbergasted, as she walked over to it.

The man was, by this time, gone; the stone door, closed once more. I’m seeing things, Jane tried to convince herself. Last time I let anyone talk me into eating a cupcake of any sort – anisette or not.

Standing before the false door, Jane tentatively reached out towards it, making herself stop midway and pull clean gloves from out of her pocket, and put them on before reaching further for the door.

Fingertips barely even brushing the stone, the door slid open with ease…revealing what looks to be a prism of some sort, or like two overlapping diamonds rotating counter to one another.

Two things erupted from the thing in the doorway – one looked eerily like a typhonic beast, and the other was a woman. The latter fell right out of the door, landing on the floor; before her exit, the creature landed on Jane, its bright eyes looking into hers.

A long muzzle matching neither an anteater nor a mule. A narrow tall ridge between two jackass ears. Little wiggly bits at the end of its tail.

It leaped away from her and ran into the shadows, racing away from the room.

The other woman rolled over, and winced as a pain arced up her side, yet she managed to sit up.

Jane stood, and helped her stand. “What was that thing?” Jane asked. “And who are you?”

“Helen Cutter. And that…” and figured the best way to explain it to an Egyptologist: “Set is loose.”
The end

Tags: art: fanfiction, eps: 1x04
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